why am i my own biggest hater?

let's discuss my never ending cycle of being too self critical with myself and the aspects in my life and what i'm doing to cope with it :)for the disclaimer in the part where i was talking about my experiences with dating : i just wanna clarify that it's a purely personal experience and could even be reflective of the guys i dated (where they did not care about my gender expression) and is not reflective of the dating dynamics sa gay men community as a whole. I just wanna clarify na it's personal since there is a lot of discrimination towards femme people and i've experienced it first hand so i don't wanna discount these experiences as well. :DKenti